Monthly Archives: September 2010

Thinner Rinder?

Several of Marty’s faithful have pointed out how much better Mike Rinder looks in the Panorama show that just aired versus the one in 2007. Mike looks thin and gaunt on the first show, but healthy and well-fed this time around – proof, they say, that life outside of the Church agrees with him.

But is that what’s really going on?

If you’ve watched Mike in action as the Church’s chief spokesliar, you know he hasn’t always exactly been supermodel-skinny. (Not that I’m criticizing; wogs in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.)

Now, I’ve known lots of Scientologist who were on diets, Weight Watchers, etc. Scientology promised a lot of cures – everything from higher IQ to perfect eyesight – but weight loss, as far as I can tell, was not among them. (Perhaps this is because Hubbard himself was also in the glass house with me and Mike. Maybe we should call him L. Ron Tubbard? Oh, snap! That was harsh!)

So, anyway, here’s my alternate theory: After years of making second trips to the donut box, Rinder, having found no cure for his spare tire in Scientology tech, finally got himself on track. By 2007, he was down to his college weight and fitting into those dresses he wore in his twenties. (Wait, sorry, that was Tom Cruise. Just kidding! That was satire, counselor. Tom Cruise, to the best of my knowledge, does not wear dresses. Nor does Mike Rinder. And besides, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with a man in a dress.)

Then Mike leaves the organized Church, he gets stressed by the Church’s attacks – or maybe by working with Marty – and he goes back to eating. And now he’s back to being the Rinder-sized Rinder we all came to know and love after they took Heber Jentschz off the air.

Now, some might think I’m being a bit harsh, or that I’m picking on Mike for his weight. I’m not. Mike looks fine. And maybe he really was gaunt from all the abuse he received in the Sea Org. But… if that as the case, don’t you think he would have written more about it on Marty’s blog? His followers would eat that up. (Okay, bad choice of clichĂ©.)

Whatever really happened, Mike isn’t saying – last time I checked, he hadn’t acknowledged the comments about his better appearance. So maybe I’m wrong. Or maybe I’m right, but M&M are content to let people think that the Church was starving him.

Either way, Mike, you look much better now.

Have another donut. It’s on me.


Caliwog’s take on Panorama: Secrets of Scientology

I know a few of you are wondering what I thought about Panorama’s Secrets of Scientology episode. The short version: I’m pleased!

The true beauty of this show is that none of the Scientologists seem to be happy with it. The Church people are upset because it highlighted Independent Scientologists. The Indies are upset because it bashed Scientology tech. And Marty Rathbun is upset because, according to him, BBC left out all the “secrets” he told them about the Church. (I asked on his blog what secrets those were, and I have yet to get an answer from him.)

Something that disappoints so many Scientologists always makes me happy!

Of course, everyone is going to criticise (I’m using the British spelling in honor of John Sweeney), and if I’m going to be honest, I wouldn’t have minded seeing more about how Marty and the Indies still believe in the tech, which is the source of most of the crimes. Then again, I don’t ever think that can be stated enough. And besides, I’m an American, and am used to having my opinions spoon-fed to me by the television. BBC still respects the intelligence of their viewers. Panorama put all the facts out there – well and fairly – so that their viewers could come to their own conclusions. And I think the viewers will be able to figure out that regardless of whether or not you are affiliated with the Church, Scientology philosophy is pretty… er, what’s the phrase? Oh yeah – fucking nuts.

I actually think the show was pretty kind to the Indies, especially to those who were separated from their families – like Mike Rinder. Now, anyone who has read Mike Rinder’s Open Letter to his Family knows how sentimental Mike isn’t about losing his family. (Search Mike’s letter for the words “love,” “miss” and “sad” and you’ll see what I mean. He’s still very much a Rondroid.) Regardless, Panorama was very sympathetic to him. Maybe that’s why Marty wasn’t happy with the show – Marty was supposed to be the big star, bustin’ the Church wide open, and instead Mike got all the screen time.

Regardless, at the end of the day, most people don’t differentiate between Church-going Scientologists and Independents, and if they are interested enough to learn more, they will discover the difference. So bottom line, this was a huge win for the Scientology protest movement.

One thing I want to point out: John Sweeney is a friggin’ hero. He did a great job combining new information with a good baseline for those unfamiliar with the cause. And let’s not forget about what Scientology does to its critics – one has only to read about Paulette Cooper to understand what a brave thing it is to take on Scientology once, let alone twice. John Sweeney is swinging at Scientology like a wrecking ball. He’s shown that he’s not afraid of their silly intimidation tactics. I applaud the bravery of the BBC, Panorama, and Mr. Sweeney – by refusing to be intimidated, they have scored a tremendous victory for the press and for those of us who oppose Scientology.

Overall, I’m pleased. The documentary presented Scientology to be a secretive, harmful cult started by a greedy megalomaniac and continued by the fervently brainwashed. And that sounds pretty accurate to me!

Watch Panorama: Secrets of Scientology on

More reactions to Panorama: Secrets of Scientology:

  • From Marty Rathbun: BBC Panorama – The Secrets of Scientology
  • From a pro-Church/anti-Marty blog: True Colors (make sure you read the comments, too — they’re priceless)
  • From a (supposedly) pro-Indie, anti-Marty site: BBC Panorama 0, Scientology 2 and Marty non-Drama Panorama Feedback
  • Church of Scientology (YouTube links to video posted before Panorama aired!): Part 1Part 2
  • ML,

    A Scientologist is a Scientologist is a Scientologist

    Lest you think I only pick on Marty Rathbun and the Independents, I’d like to remind you that Church-going Scientologists are just as deep in the crazy.

    I know I spend a lot of time harping on Marty and his beliefs, but let’s not forget that the majority of what he thinks is shared by Church members in good standing. A recent post on an anti-Marty, pro-Church blog gives some idea of just how much crazy we’re dealing with. The blog post is called Desperate Marty, and here are the basic points it makes:

    • Marty believes there are profits to be made from bad-mouthing the Church to the media.
    • Marty’s stories about Church abuses are bullshit, but the Indies believe them because they have their own “overts and withholds” (sins).
    • Media outlets are paying Marty, but not enough.
    • Drug companies are not paying Marty, but they would.
    • Marty is using hypnotism on his followers.*
    • Marty tried to destroy the Church from within, and is now trying to destroy it from without.

    * Hypnotism by blog? Shit, where can I learn to do that?!

    Now, you’ll notice how a few of these accusations are remarkably similar to those that Marty makes against the Church. Why is this? Well, first, Scientologists tend to argue like four-year-olds. (“You’re smelly!” “No, you’re smelly!”) And second, they are both singing off the same sheet of music. They genuinely see each other as committing the same crimes, because they have the same sense of right and wrong – the one invented and instilled by L. Ron Hubbard.

    Most of the accusations are too ridiculous to comment on – and for the record, Indies, I don’t think any of them are true – but I will address one: The idea that Marty is in it for the money. Marty has his obvious revenge-against-Miscavige thing, but at the end of the day, he’s in it for the same reason that all* Scientologists are in it: He believes that LRH’s tech is the only salvation for mankind.

    * “All” includes David Miscavige, but excludes L. Ron Hubbard. LRH was in it for the money, the glory and the power.

    For us protesters, the blog post in question reminds us that Marty and his Independents are not as different from David Miscavige and the Church of Scientology as they would like everyone (including themselves) to think. Both the Independents and the Church-goers believe in the same tenets, and the methods employed by Marty and Mike Rinder are not much different than those employed by the Church. (Let’s not forget, it wasn’t too long ago that Marty and Mike were employing these same methods on behalf of the Church rather than against it.)

    Bottom line: A Scientologist is a Scientologist is a Scientologist. Independents will argue until they are blue in the face about how they are completely different from Church-goers – but the truth is that aside from the color of the (virtual) jerseys they wear, they are pretty much all the same.


    Why Independents (might) think the Church and Anonymous are aligned

    Marty and other Independents often accuse Anonymous and other Scientology protesters of being in league with David Miscavige and the Church of Scientology. This may seem totally ridiculous to your average protester, but to the Scientology faithful, it makes perfect sense.

    Here’s the deal: To the indies, the protest movement is out to destroy Scientology. Argue over the wording if you like, but that’s more or less true.

    But the way they see it, David Miscavige, leader of the Church of Scientology, is also out to destroy Scientology. You’ll notice that Marty and the Independents use phrases like “Black Dianetics” and “Reverse Scientology”. They believe that David Miscavige has intentionally altered LRH’s tech so as to ensure that Scientologists not only do not get gains, but will become mindless robots who do his bidding without question. Sounds pretty far out, right? LRH explains in an article he wrote in 1952, dramatically titled “Danger: Black Dianetics!”:

    Death, insanity, or merely a slavish obedience can be efficiently effected by the use of Black Dianetics… A person on whom Black Dianetics has been employed seldom retains the sanity or will to make a complaint, or does not know he has been victimized.” — LRH

    To the Independents, this explains why Church members don’t see the light, and why Marty and his Kool-Aid drinkers think of Church members as Kool-Aid drinkers. David Miscavige has enslaved them, and they don’t even realize they are victims. (Oddly enough, Church-going Scientologists could use this same argument against Marty and his flock.) (UPDATE: That’s exactly what they did.)

    According to the Indie viewpoint, LRH even explains why David Miscavige hasn’t gone to jail for his well-documented crimes:

    “Persons claiming such offenses against their persons are commonly catalogued by doctors as suffering from delusion. Thus the employer of Black Dianetics can escape unpunished under existing legal procedures.” — LRH

    Incidentally, if you read the whole article (available in the Wikileaks policy pack), you’ll notice that LRH doesn’t define “Black Dianetics” too specifically, and his recommended remedy is to learn more about Dianetics. Why was he so vague? Because the article was written for Ability magazine. LRH intended magazines to be used for promoting Scientology services. That’s right… the preceeding “Black Dianetics” article is basically a glorified advertisement.

    So, according to the Independents, we have two groups out to destroy Scientology, us and the Church. Remember that in Scientology that when it comes to allegiances, there is no gray, only black or white. You’re either a member of the group or you’re not. It’s as simple as that. If someone has doubts, they’re not simply a group member with doubts – according to Hubbard, they are instantly not a member of the group but are pretending to be a member of the group (which may well be worse than not being in the group at all).

    And so we, the protesters, are seen by independent Scientologists as being in the same group as the Church. We are trying to destroy Scientology by spreading information; DM is trying to destroy Scientology by misapplication of L. Ron Hubbard’s “tech.” Same shit, different source.

    The former is true; the latter is preposterous bullshit, but not to those who believe it. It is, to them, a perfectly reasonable* way to explain why Scientology did not deliver the gains promised to them by L. Ron Hubbard – DM is actively trying to prevent them from getting those gains. And not only has he done so, but he’s brainwashed Church followers into not seeing it. Only Marty, Mike and the other Independents can really see what’s going on. (Does that sound like cult behavior to you?)

    Of course, there is an alternative, which is that Scientology itself is bullshit. But that’s a very painful and difficult conclusion to which to come.

    It’s easier to insist that Anons and the Church must be aligned.


    * When I say “reasonable,” I mean the real definition, not LRH’s redefinition (which essentially is coming up with reasons why something that is not OK, is OK. To Scientologists, being reasonable is a bad thing).

    Marty’s hangar hang-up

    Marty’s latest blog entry contains pictures of Tom Cruise’s airplane hangar, allegedly decorated by Scientology “slave labor.” (A term I’m not quite comfortable with; unlike slaves, Scientologist laborers are generally volunteers.)

    You’ve probably noticed that Marty is a bit obsessed with the fruits of Sea Org labor. Earlier posts have been dedicated to Tom Cruise’s office and Tom Cruise’s motorcycles, all allegedly built by the Sea Org. (“This week on Scientology Chopper…”)

    My response: Who the fuck cares?

    Don’t get me wrong – using Scientology laborers to build stuff for Tom Cruise is not cool. But if you’re going to protest the crimes of the Church of Scientology, there are much more important things you could concentrate on.

    Like Scientology’s view towards medical care, which essentially is “You don’t need any.” There are several well-known stories of people who have died because L. Ron Hubbard told his followers that Scientology can cure ills – and I’m sure there are hundreds, if not thousands, more that we don’t know about, because the victims and their families were dedicated Scientologists and didn’t complain. Oh, sure, many of Hubbard’s books carry disclaimers so as to avoid trouble from the Food and Drug Administration, but do you think Scientologists pay attention to a few words of legalese mandated by a suppressive government? To them, the meat in the sandwich is what LRH wrote:

    “The skills offered in this handbook will produce…the Dianetic Relase, an individual who has been freed from his major anxieties or illnesses.” — LRH, Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health

    “When [engrams (bad memories) in the tooth pulp] are relieved, a ‘toothache’ in that tooth becomes almost impossible no matter how many ‘nerves’ are exposed, a matter which brings about quite a revolution in dentistry.” — LRH, History of Man

    “With someone in a psychotic break, it is necessary to isolate the person…Between [auditing] sessions the muzzled rule is in force. No one speaks to the person or in his hearing.” — LRH, HCOB 23 Jan 1975 RB, THE INTROSPECTION RD (this is the one that killed Lisa McPherson)

    I mean, really, with Scientology leading so many people down such a dangerous road, is an airplane hangar really that big a deal?

    Besides, it’s not as if the whole slave-labor thing was David Miscavige’s idea. In an article entitled What Your Fees Buy – changed after Hubbard’s death to “What Your Donations Buy” – Hubbard seemed to take pride in how little staff were paid:

    “A Sea Org member draws about four pounds a week and his room and board… So not much of your fee goes to them even though they bear the full burden of management of pure services. Org staff members over the world work for so little that Execs occasionally get letters from their landladies demanding orgs increase their pay level so staff members can pay their rent.” — LRH, What Your Fees Buy

    In other words, by paying staff such criminally low wages, David Miscavige is simply doing LRH’s bidding. Of course, DM could pay them more, but he doesn’t. Marty seems to think this is a huge crime, and yet I can’t recall him ever saying he tried to increase staff pay during all his years in Scientology upper management. (Maybe he was too busy helping DM with the effort to strong-arm the IRS into giving Scientology tax-exempt status.)

    Now, knowing that Tom Cruise is a good Scientologist, I’d be surprised if he allowed the Church to build the hangar for free. Scientologists believe strongly in what they call exchange* – trading valuables for goods or services. Not meeting this condition – being “out-exchange” – is bad.

    “When you let a person give nothing for something,” Hubbard wrote, “you are factually encouraging crime.” (LRH, Admin Dictionary) I’m sure the hangar, if it was built by Scientologists, was seen as exchange for all money Cruise donates to the Church.

    But even if Scientologists did build Tom Cruise’s hanger for nothing – so what? Scientology commits far worse crimes, but you won’t hear about a lot of those from Marty, because a) he has a personal obsession with ruining David Miscavige, and b) he believes in LRH’s “technology,” which is the source of most of Scientology’s evils.

    Of course, Marty won’t tell you that – so it’s up to us.

    Read the stories of ex-Scientologists, and you’ll find that many, if not most, of them left because things just didn’t add up. “The tech” didn’t work as Ron promised, and most realized that was because the tech is bullshit.

    Unfortunately, many others believe the story that Marty is selling, which is that DM messed up the tech in an effort to kill off Scientology, a subject I’ll talk more about in a future blog entry.

    If we’re going to stop Scientology, we have to learn to think like Scientologists. We have to listen to the ex-Scientologists who are truly out – those who have realized that LRH was a con man. Fortunately, many are willing to tell us their stories: How they got in, how they got out, and, most importantly, what made them realize they’d been duped. Those are the people who can best teach us how to get our message across.

    If we simply get hung up on hangars, we’ll never put an end to the crimes of Scientology.


    * Note that Marty’s donation page is out-exchange. My donation page, on the other hand, is 100% on-policy.

    How to make Caliwog go away

    In his blog entry Anonymous or Miscavige, Marty Rathbun makes an interesting point:

    Anonymous and Miscavige depend upon one another for their very existences

    Is Marty right? In a way, yes.

    I cannot speak for all of Anonymous, only myself. But Marty’s partially correct; I do depend on Miscavige for my existence – my existence as Caliwog, that is – just as I depend on Marty and Scientology. If they didn’t exist, there would be no Caliwog and no Caliwog’s Blog.

    Thing is, I don’t want Caliwog to exist.

    If, by some miracle, all of Scientology folded up tomorrow – the Church, Marty, Mike, the Free Zone movement, the whole kit and caboodle – than I would walk away from this blog and my identity as Caliwog forever and go back to the rest of my life.

    And nothing would make me happier.

    Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s going to happen. The Church isn’t going to suddenly shut their doors. David Miscavige isn’t going to turn himself in to the cops. Marty isn’t going to give up his blog and his auditing practice and get a legitimate job. Every Scientologist is not going to suddenly realize that LRH’s “tech” is simply a little psychotherapy mixed with a lot of sci-fi bullshit.

    As long as Scientology keeps harming people, there will be a Caliwog. As soon as my raison d’ĂȘtre goes away, so will I – and believe me, I can’t wait.

    So now you know how to shut me up, Marty. How about you go first?


    Marty and the Independents: A Scientology view

    I came across an interesting (and old) blog entry from an anti-Marty site (apparently) run by a Church-going Scientologist, and I thought it gave an interesting view of how “public” Co$ Scientologists see Marty, the Independent movement, and “squirrels”.

    Now, before I post the link, I have to clarify: These guys hate Marty, and they have no problem lying and making wild accusations about him. I don’t condone such behavior. I may disagree with Marty’s words and worldview, but everything I’ve written about him has been, to the best of my knowledge, true. I see no good reason to lie about Marty, the Church, Scientologists or Scientology. (Who needs to? The truth is juicy enough!)

    I’m posting this blog entry because it presents some insight into how Scientologists view “squirrels” – much of which, by the way, is clearly Church-authored bullshit – and because it’s important to understand how our opponents think. I am not posting it because I support the authors or what they say, because I don’t. Preamble over; here’s the link:

    Mark Rathbun the Squirrel

    NOTE: If the above link dies, please email me at caliwog(at) and I’ll paste in the original text. Thanks to FiFi LeToit for the tip!