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Caliwog still exists!

…and is enjoying recent events immensely. I’ve been wondering if Mike Rinder and Marty Rathbun still think I’m an OSA agent? One of these days I’ll have to get around to asking them!

The times, are they a-changin’?

A conversation I never thought I would see take place on Marty’s blog:

The interesting stuff starts at CommunicatorIC’s comment.

Long read (and still growing), but worth it — lots of people making legitimate criticisms of LRH, pretty severe ones at that — entheta to be sure. And yet Marty is letting the conversation take place! I added my own comment, we’ll see if it escapes censorship.


Two viewpoints on LRH

“Hubbard’s theory [of prenatal engrams] never makes it really clear, at least in a manner that would be accepted by most medical doctors, exactly how engrams can be planted before a foetus had developed a nervous system or the sense organs with which to register an impression, or even how a person could retain or ‘remember’ verbal statements before he had command of a language. Scientologists simply accept his theory on faith, that if a husband beats his pregnant wife and shouts ‘take that’ as he hits her, a ‘take that’ engram can be planted in the womb. Thus, when junior grows up, he might react to this statement literally, and become a thief whose goal is to ‘take that.'”

— Paulette Cooper, The Scandal of Scientology, Chapter 3

“Scientology Founder L. Ron Hubbard discovered methodologies that can enhance self-determinism, increase freedom of choice, and bring about higher states of awareness and beingness to those who practice them.”

— Mark “Marty” Rathbun, 31 Factors

[L. Ron Hubbard] is quite literally viewed by millions worldwide as Mankind’s greatest friend.”

— Official Church of Scientology website

Hmm. Which of these two go together?


Two things in which I don’t believe

There is something you should know about me: I don’t believe in God.

Normally, I would hope this would elicit a big “So what?” – same reaction I would hope to get about my eye color or my sexual orientation. But in the case of Scientology protesters, it matters, because it’s something that Scientologists love to seize upon: “Ah-hah! He’s an atheist! He’s opposed to religion! He wants to see all religions come to an end!”

This argument, while not applicable to Scientology (I’ll explain why in a sec), has some truth to it. For reasons that would probably sound a lot less insensitive than the next dozen words will, I do think the world would be a better place without religion.

I have a feeling that a lot of Scientology protestors, particularly those who have never been involved in Scientology, are atheists. Religion fills a need in the human soul: The yearning for there to be something beyond us, a future past the future, a greater meaning. Immortality, if you will. Some of us just buy into that. Not because we’re smarter or better or more evolved; it’s just how we see the world. I’m not opposed to the idea of a God; I’d love it if there was an all-knowing, all-seeing, all-loving Big Being who oversaw everything. (Although based on what the God of the Old Testament says about gays, goys, and girls, I’d rather not have to answer to that particular dude.) Based on the evidence, I think the existance of a God is highly unlikely. People like me just simply aren’t as susceptible to the charms of religion – nor are we suceptible to the charms of Scientology, which feeds those same needs.

So do I protest Scientology because I oppose religion in general? Not at all, because of the second thing in which I don’t believe:

I don’t believe that Scientology is a religion.

This, like my atheism, is based on evidence, except in the case of Scientology, it’s a lot more clear-cut. Scientology started out as a self-help business. It became a religion for tax purposes. Unlike my atheism, this is not a matter of opinion; Ron the Blabbermouth said it (and wrote it) himself. Repeadedly. (Brilliant con man though he may be, that narcicissm always got the better of him.)

L. Ron Hubbard evolved much of Scientology, including the UFO alien life form stuff, after deciding that a religion was more profitable than self-help. Ron learned his lesson with Dianetics: All you needed to do was read a book, maybe take a course or two, and bammo, you were a Dianetician; there was no continued income stream for Ron. You can bet your ass he wasn’t going to make that mistake twice!

Frankly, I think that by concentrating on the crimes committed in the name of Scientology, we’re missing the biggest crime of all: Scientology’s tax-exempt status.

Understand that Scientology did not get tax exemption because it is a legitimate religion. It got tax exempt status because they hounded the IRS into submission. That was no easy feat, but they did it. They did it by spending millions of “parishoner” dollars, and for what? So that they could keep the millions of dollars that followed.

Scientology as a tax-exempt religion is a crime. They are not a religion; they are a self-help business that does not actually help. If you live in the United States, you know that our government isn’t exactly flush with money. Our schools need funds. Medicare needs funds. Many of us would love to see a state-funded health system. Scientology has been keeping millions, if not billions, of dollars that could help fund those programs.

That’s wrong.

Not only that, but people like Marty Rathbun and other independent Scientology practitioners are able to claim tax-exempt status as well. Marty, next time you drive on the Interestate, send us all thank-you notes; we’re paying for those roads, you aren’t.

Listen, if people want to pay for auditing, that’s their business – but why shouldn’t Marty pay taxes just like a therapist? After all, they’re doing basically the same job.

Scientology can claim that it meets the definition of a religion; they’re big into dictionary definitions. But anyone who has experience and has gotten out will tell you Scientology is has as much in common with religion as a tree does with a Greyhound bus.

You want to see an end to the crimes of Scientology? Then let’s start talking about their tax-exempt status. Now is the time to write to your congress-people that you want Scientology’s tax-exempt status looked into. If Scientology was regarded as a business, they’d be scrutinzed as a business – and that means they couldn’t get away with the dangerous and demeaning shit they do.

Last time Scientology took on the IRS, they won because they had a bigger war chest. Now, with dwindling membership, tons of money tied up in buildings and facilities, and more and more Scientologists resisting the brutal fundraising, they might not be so strong. The prospect of a multi-billion-dollar tax bill would do them in, so they’d have to fight to the death… and death is a real possibility. Bam! Scientology problem solved.

And that’s something I do believe in.


Ron the Fuckup

I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER get tired of looking at this:

Spoiler alert: It’s L. Ron Hubbard’s college transcript. D in chemistry, the famous F in nuclear physics, and a B in The Short Story, which I think sums up his writing rather nicely. And nothing from the third semester on, because he dropped the hell out.

Why bring this up? Well, with all the turmoil that’s happened in the past few months (notably Marty Rathbun vs Milestone Two, hasn’t that been a popcorn-muncher?) and a new willingness on behalf of some Indies to accept that maybe LRH wasn’t perfect, and that maybe he was a little full of shit… I think it’s best that we remember that he was COMPLETELY full of shit.

The justification which a lot of Scientologists use — one once castigated by my old friend Marty Rathbun, now seemingly embraced by him — is that even if the Ol’ Man had a tendency to embellish certain points about his life — he was a creative writer, after all! — that doesn’t change the good that he did.* His “technology” is still valid.

Caliwog Communication Office Bulletin #1 says: NO IT FUCKING WELL ISN’T.

* Per Caliwog Tech, the only good Hubbard did was a) dying and b) recording that ridiculous “Thank You For Listening” song which always makes me laugh.

Hubbard was, as noted above, completely full of shit. The “tech” you think is good came from other sources, including in some cases his own followers. A lot of it is common sense, stuff that you could figure out if you hadn’t let LRH convince you that you’re all a bunch of dumb shits who need him. And a lot more of it is gibberish — talking in circles about obvious topics in order to seem intelligent. Christ, Scientology people, have you not ever seen this? Haven’t one single one of you attended a cocktail party a big-ego asshole or two? I can’t believe you don’t recognize this shit… oh wait, I can, because while I was in college, you guys were in Scientology.

All this ranting is pissing me off even more… time to go look at Ron the Dropout’s transcript again. An A in Phys Ed, hmm, Ron? Guess that was the semester where they taught you to run your mouth.




Are you a brainwashed Scientologist? Take this simple test to find out!

Why did Lisa McPherson die?

A) Because David Miscavige mishandled her case.

B) Because the Introspection Rundown was administered improperly.

C) Some combination of A and B.

D) Because Scientologists took her out of the hospital and locked her in a hotel room in accordance with LRH’s “tech,” instead of getting her proper medical treatment.

If you answered A, B or C, congratulations! You are a brainwashed Scientologist. Even if you think you’re “out,” the truth is that you’re still in.

May you “confront” that fact before it harms you.


Caliwog is alive!

…just mega-busy with other stuff. But I’m still here, I’m still following the movement, and I’m still firm in my believe that Scientology, in all its forms — be it Church-sponsored or Independent — is bullshit. Expensive, time-wasting, life-robbing, good-intention-derailing, profit-centric bullshit.

If you miss posts from Caliwog, I can suggest a good six months’ or more worth of reading that will say the same things  I have been saying:

All of these books, generously made available for free by their authors, will put paid to the lies of both the Church and the “Independents” and tell you THE REAL TRUTH about Scientology — that ALL of it is rotten, and that it isn’t an innocent or “good” religion derailed by the angry little midget.

Keep the faith, brothers and sisters, and F LRH!


Yep, “What Is Wrong With Scientology?” is an ad

Read the first paragraph of this blog entry. Kudos to Marty for being honest about it.


Victory is so sweet!

I haven’t had much time to write recently, but I’ve had time to read — and oh, how I am enjoying Marty Rathbun’s frustration over the refusal of “The Media” to separate Scientology from… well, from Scientology.

Marty writes:

“It is unfortunate that there has not been time, nor the inclination on the part of media, to differentiate Miscavige’s cult and its conduct from the philosophy of Scientology.”

Ah, but Marty, bubby, clearly they are taking the time — the time to properly reasearch Scientology. Rather than take your attempts to whitewash Hubbard at face value, they are taking the time to read more about the subject, and at the very least realize that, Slappy Miscavige or not, Scientology is still a bug-nutty UFO religion. You can write all the books you want, Marty, but you can’t change that fact.

Unfortunately for Marty and other Hubbard apologists, the proof is in Hubbard’s own prolific writing. Go back through the archives of this blog and you’ll see countless examples of Hubbard policy dictacing the wrong-doing that these clowns attempt to blame on David Miscavige. Is Miscavige bad? Hell yeah, he is — he’s scum. But Hubbard is far, far worse, a lying, scheming, glory-seeking con man whose money-making, tax-evading scam persists even decades after his death.

And now one of Marty’s minyans wants to start an Indie youth group? Fuck me.

Marty Rathbun has been saying for years now that the organized Church of Scientology is dead. Clearly, it isn’t, not yet at least. But perhaps I can take this opportunity to do what Marty does, and declare Scientology dead. It appears we’ve hit the tipping point where the mainstream media is no longer willing to accept Rathbun and the other vocal Indie’s insistance that Scientoloy is good, and Miscavige is the problem. That hackneyed old story has sprung so many leaks that there just aren’t enough Independent thumbs to plug them all.

Of course, Scientology isn’t dead, and we should not rest until everyone understands that it is nothing but a self-help scam designed to enrich its long-dead founder. And when I say everyone, I mean even the people who really don’t want to see it — the Indies themselves.

Marty, if you’re reading this, I know you like to read non-Scientology books (and I commend you for that). Why not read this one and comment about it on your blog?