Ron the Fuckup

I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER get tired of looking at this:

Spoiler alert: It’s L. Ron Hubbard’s college transcript. D in chemistry, the famous F in nuclear physics, and a B in The Short Story, which I think sums up his writing rather nicely. And nothing from the third semester on, because he dropped the hell out.

Why bring this up? Well, with all the turmoil that’s happened in the past few months (notably Marty Rathbun vs Milestone Two, hasn’t that been a popcorn-muncher?) and a new willingness on behalf of some Indies to accept that maybe LRH wasn’t perfect, and that maybe he was a little full of shit… I think it’s best that we remember that he was COMPLETELY full of shit.

The justification which a lot of Scientologists use — one once castigated by my old friend Marty Rathbun, now seemingly embraced by him — is that even if the Ol’ Man had a tendency to embellish certain points about his life — he was a creative writer, after all! — that doesn’t change the good that he did.* His “technology” is still valid.

Caliwog Communication Office Bulletin #1 says: NO IT FUCKING WELL ISN’T.

* Per Caliwog Tech, the only good Hubbard did was a) dying and b) recording that ridiculous “Thank You For Listening” song which always makes me laugh.

Hubbard was, as noted above, completely full of shit. The “tech” you think is good came from other sources, including in some cases his own followers. A lot of it is common sense, stuff that you could figure out if you hadn’t let LRH convince you that you’re all a bunch of dumb shits who need him. And a lot more of it is gibberish — talking in circles about obvious topics in order to seem intelligent. Christ, Scientology people, have you not ever seen this? Haven’t one single one of you attended a cocktail party a big-ego asshole or two? I can’t believe you don’t recognize this shit… oh wait, I can, because while I was in college, you guys were in Scientology.

All this ranting is pissing me off even more… time to go look at Ron the Dropout’s transcript again. An A in Phys Ed, hmm, Ron? Guess that was the semester where they taught you to run your mouth.


2 responses to “Ron the Fuckup

  1. I really enjoyed this post. Thank you. I had not seen Ron’s report card before. I wonder if he was grounded afterwards. LOL

  2. Robert E. Biasotti

    In the words of Harry Potter, “BRILLIANT!’ (Caliwog, not Elron!)

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