Daily Archives: October 26, 2010

Emergency Marty (or, Casablanca Stat Analysis)

It seems ironic that Marty Rathbun, who has railed against the Church of Scientology for its “Ideal Org” program (in which big money is being spent on fancy buildings), should be advertising that he himself is moving from his “shack” to a bigger, nicer house. Is “Casablanca Tejas” Marty’s own Ideal Org?

Regardless, I want to draw attention to something Marty said in his blog entry about the new house: He is moving “in order to be better prepared to deliver.”

Those well versed in Scientology will know what that means, but for those who don’t, “prepare to deliver” is step four of L. Ron Hubbard’s Emergency formula – a set of steps that must be performed under certain circumstances. And it means things are most likely not going well.

Condition formulas are an important part of Scientology; like all his other “tech,” LRH warned that they must be followed to the letter in order to get results. There are only two reasons a Scientologist does the Emergency formula: One, his statistics are in Emergency (long-term flat or a gentle downtrend), or two, he is working up from a lower condition (i.e. Danger or Non-Existence).

Marty has been auditing for a while, so we can safely assume that he is not working his way up from Non-Existence for an activity he just started. So if he is working up from a lower condition, it’s either because his statistics have not been good – people aren’t coming to him for auditing – or he performed some act so heinous that he saw fit to assign himself a lower condition.

Either way, it’s an indication that things are not going well. I think it’s wrong to be happy about other people’s troubles, but if Marty is having trouble finding customers for his Scientology auditing, that’s a good thing. It indicates that fewer people are trading the Church’s brand of LRH slavery for Marty’s brand of LRH slavery.

Another indicator, by the way, is that Marty has opened a second blog, one in which he says he will no longer allow dissent (I love how he pretends he does not censor dissent his original blog!). That could be his way of doing Step 2 of the Emergency Fomula, “Change your operating basis.” Or the new blog entry could be Step 1, “Promote” – a new way of advertising his services.

If Marty’s stats were good, he wouldn’t be moving from The Shack. Step 1 of the Normal formula (statistics in a steady uptrend) says “Don’t change anything.” And the Affluence formula (sharp increase in statistics) instructs says “Don’t buy anything that has any future commitment to it.” (Like signing a lease or a mortgage.) (Sticklers for detail will note that Affluence also says “Invest…in service facilities; make it more possible to deliver.” Note the difference in words, “possible to deliver” vs. “prepare to deliver”. Scientologists don’t miss details like that; Marty is not in Affluence.)

If Marty moves to yet another house in the next few weeks, we’ll know things are getting worse.

More about statistics and formulas: Statistics, Scientology-style

Caliwog